omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You smell like stripper and shame
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
