Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  eat her like coffee?

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  (720): yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers (1-720): eat her like coffee? http://tfl.nu/6p99
  Replies (19) Good night (1375) Bad night (3377)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?

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  (707): tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/o0vq
  Replies (16) Good night (988) Bad night (4844)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its only a rough draft.

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  (513): thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers (440): its only a rough draft. http://tfl.nu/pfud
  Replies (10) Good night (3923) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.

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  (330): WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL. http://tfl.nu/0dj7
  Replies (12) Good night (5278) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong

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  (682): Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong http://tfl.nu/w74n
  Replies (4) Good night (2695) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.

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  (386): well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake. http://tfl.nu/2ev4
  Replies (8) Good night (2959) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?

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  (814): I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls? http://tfl.nu/unf7
  Replies (8) Good night (1750) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.

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  (309): JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap. http://tfl.nu/l0kn
  Replies (8) Good night (2227) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?

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  (306): Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out? http://tfl.nu/y1by
  Replies (5) Good night (2601) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.

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  (202): i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy. http://tfl.nu/piez
  Replies (6) Good night (832) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five

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  (928): I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five http://tfl.nu/12yz
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

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  (479): I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital http://tfl.nu/kjdp
  Replies (9) Good night (1039) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.

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  (408): I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/3vr5
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.

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  (646): I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation. http://tfl.nu/yzea
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?

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  (702): He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed? http://tfl.nu/mq0y
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (289)

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