Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
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My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going