Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :) http://tfl.nu/dwum

Replies (36) Good night (10660) Bad night (919)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties. http://tfl.nu/jpbi

Replies (25) Good night (12946) Bad night (704)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed http://tfl.nu/a070

Replies (20) Good night (8269) Bad night (1418)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Wait until you see the roof.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help. (1-978): Wait until you see the roof. http://tfl.nu/itso

Replies (34) Good night (4522) Bad night (1498)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me. http://tfl.nu/6e09

Replies (8) Good night (2939) Bad night (747)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg

Replies (4) Good night (1334) Bad night (714)
Favorite
(641): View more from Iowa

I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(641): I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. http://tfl.nu/90tm

Replies (18) Good night (1138) Bad night (1305)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/09st

Replies (9) Good night (1616) Bad night (546)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com? http://tfl.nu/sqoo

Replies (4) Good night (1223) Bad night (500)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together. http://tfl.nu/5v90

Replies (9) Good night (1837) Bad night (1225)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/pg5d

Replies (2) Good night (1438) Bad night (370)
Favorite
(574): View more from Indiana

I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(574): I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/m1lp

Replies (7) Good night (1279) Bad night (281)
Favorite
(289): View more from Ontario

In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(289): In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/ntm3

Replies (13) Good night (375) Bad night (803)
Favorite
(225): View more from Louisiana

I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(225): I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you. http://tfl.nu/gxsp

Replies (1) Good night (280) Bad night (471)
Favorite
(432): View more from Texas

They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9

Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (272)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: