Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.

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(415): He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal. http://tfl.nu/3jar

Replies (72) Good night (1844) Bad night (5987)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

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(615): I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women. http://tfl.nu/xpcj

Replies (8) Good night (3210) Bad night (1005)
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(903): View more from Texas

Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe

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(903): Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe http://tfl.nu/shgh

Replies (8) Good night (3921) Bad night (929)
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(207): View more from Maine

FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

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(207): FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS. http://tfl.nu/a3c7

Replies (28) Good night (2421) Bad night (2940)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.

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(703): She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman. http://tfl.nu/z41q

Replies (15) Good night (7171) Bad night (901)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

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(618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577

Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (1747)
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(269): View more from Michigan

he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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(269): he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing http://tfl.nu/dbp3

Replies (6) Good night (1302) Bad night (2507)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.

(330): View more from Ohio

She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.

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(330): Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything. (330): She kept telling me it was a squirtgun. http://tfl.nu/3tf4

Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (1127)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.

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(440): Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me. http://tfl.nu/gd3r

Replies (0) Good night (845) Bad night (354)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?

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(770): Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again? http://tfl.nu/c4dt

Replies (4) Good night (1330) Bad night (377)
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(616): View more from Michigan

i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.

(616): View more from Michigan

someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2

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(616): i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool. (616): someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2 http://tfl.nu/9ec4

Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (727)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry

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(317): Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry http://tfl.nu/y5n9

Replies (7) Good night (798) Bad night (507)
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(407): View more from Florida

I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.

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(407): I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite. http://tfl.nu/f7w3

Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (237)
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(804): View more from Virginia

My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.

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(804): My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost. http://tfl.nu/72vv

Replies (1) Good night (322) Bad night (607)
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(831): View more from California

Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.

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(831): Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/od4k

Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (263)

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