I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.