Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.

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  (225): ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby. http://tfl.nu/ceb0
  Replies (82) Good night (1293) Bad night (3852)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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  (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8
  Replies (23) Good night (5979) Bad night (767)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.

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  (630): he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/2ce1
  Replies (24) Good night (2039) Bad night (9798)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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  (803): so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal. http://tfl.nu/ov2w
  Replies (61) Good night (975) Bad night (6585)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that

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  (217): You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that http://tfl.nu/ym20
  Replies (53) Good night (1403) Bad night (2995)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..

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  (803): No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick.. http://tfl.nu/tonx
  Replies (23) Good night (6483) Bad night (1212)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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  (724): I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it! http://tfl.nu/y71c
  Replies (3) Good night (4163) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

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  (443): There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic. http://tfl.nu/18x8
  Replies (31) Good night (1397) Bad night (5070)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.

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  (719): He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year. http://tfl.nu/71up
  Replies (17) Good night (4557) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.

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  (517): this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/l5cn
  Replies (1) Good night (1307) Bad night (1099)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.

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  (732): I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this. http://tfl.nu/iud4
  Replies (6) Good night (1922) Bad night (746)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care

  (315): View more from New York

  I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.

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  (607): Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care (315): I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt. http://tfl.nu/8ucq
  Replies (4) Good night (1271) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

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  (434): Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning http://tfl.nu/g13p
  Replies (4) Good night (1083) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.

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  (936): If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home. http://tfl.nu/6ayk
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...

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  (803): sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job... http://tfl.nu/rvys
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (259)

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