Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?