Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
