Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
