You're a womanizer and a bitch.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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