Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
