it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
