they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
