coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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