you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
