So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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