Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
