my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
