Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
