i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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