Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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