Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
