Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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