butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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