I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
