yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
