you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
