I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
