I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
