My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
