their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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