Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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