She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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