You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
