I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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