Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he fucked my hip out of place.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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