Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dicks are not precious.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
