actually, I'm a sock model
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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