I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
