Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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