Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
