what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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