so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
