Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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