My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
