i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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