I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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