the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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