he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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