Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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