we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
