u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
