He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
