i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
