I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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