can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
