Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
