like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
