Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
