Small penises have feelings too.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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