I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
