The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
