Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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