Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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