I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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