In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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