I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
