I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
