I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
